Home for the Holidays
If you ask me where home is, I’d have to say St. Louis though I only lived there for the first 23 of my 70 years. But still, when I hear that song about there being no place like home for the holidays, Missouri is where my heart roams. Though beloved cousins still reside there, the main players in my early life are long deceased. I can visit them in the cemetery, or as I choose to do today, via my memories. As I model this method of going home for the holidays, it is my Bubbie, Mary Willick, who seems to be calling out to me.
My impetus for visiting the past is due in part to the fact that I recently saw The Tina Turner Musical at a local theater. One of the things I loved about the show was that at several key points in her life, it was clear she was drawing strength from her ancestors. To show this to the audience, the actors who played the ancestors were physically on stage.
Bringing Bubbie on stage now, I remember these lessons from her.
Family is important!
Counting Bubbie, Grandpa, their three kids plus spouses, and the nine grandkids, there were seventeen people to whom Bubbie served Shabbos dinner every single Friday night. A relative visiting from out of town? Of course, they joined us too.
If this was not enough, we grandkids slept over on occasion though there was only one spare bedroom. Like sardines in a can, we were jammed into bed together often horizontally instead of vertically to fit more kids. The next day, Grandpa took us to the community swimming pool or fishing while Bubbie stayed home preparing the “hangie-bers” and “fried French” she would serve us for lunch. By the way, in the unlikely event of leftovers, they got wrapped in “silver soil” (a.k.a. aluminum foil).
What other people think is not important!
We can see that Russian-born Bubbie was adorable in the way she spoke English. One of my favorite Bubbie-isms was her spin on NOT taking things to heart. When I failed at my first attempt to go away to college due to homesickness, I left the University of Illinois for Mizzou. I was embarrassed and worried about what people would say! Bubbie advised this approach to unkind comments: Take them to foot – listen to what others say, then walk away.
Being a good person is where it’s at!
Whenever we parted, Bubbie said, “You are a good girl, and be a good girl.” This comment has kept me on the straight and narrow for all seven decades of my life. I am happy that Bubbie helped to make me such a solid citizen. But as I think of her – and commune with her in my journal this holiday season – I want to ask her for an additional benediction. Thinking back on all the childhood happiness she orchestrated for me, I want her to plant this seed: “You are a happy girl, and be a happy girl.” What help that would be with the ups and downs of life!
It’s great to have a safe harbor!
- In second grade, I ran away from home. My mom wasn’t worried; she knew exactly where to find me – at Bubbie’s house.
- All through elementary school, walking home for lunch was an option. When I chose it, I walked to Bubbie’s. She fixed potato latkes (pancakes) and served my milk in a coffee cup.
- When I got my first job after college, it was close enough to Bubbie’s house to drive there for lunch, which I did. Same menu, same serving style.
- And if there was spare time at a visit, we sat together on her three-cushion sofa. She was on one end; I was on the other; the cards for a game of solitaire were spread out on the cushion between us as we chatted away.
A walk down memory lane is a lovely way to go home for the holidays. And like Tina Turner, it’s a great way to draw strength from the past. As much as we idealize the holiday season for all its joy, there are also stresses. I plan to face them with Bubbie by my side as I pull out a deck of cards to play a game of solitaire on my sofa, as I eat latkes that I purchase from the kosher section of my local grocer, and of course, as I drink my milk from a coffee cup.
*****
If you prefer to drink your milk from a mug instead of a coffee cup, take a look at the great mugs available in my etsy shop.
I love your memories of Bubbie! Precious and intangible treasures! I had a Bubbie, Nan Nan my Father’s Mother who lived in rural central Ohio. Though my Father died when I was very small, my Mother took me to visit her every summer for about 10 days. She spoiled me, we played her “rules” Canasta and she’d make my favorite lemon meringue pie! Aren’t grannies the best? Thanks Lorie! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving with all you grands! The best!
Hi Didi, Thanks for being in touch and sharing your memories of your Nan Nan. We are so lucky to have had such loved ones!!!
Lucky girl, to have your Bubbie! Lucky Bubbie to have her good/happy girl! ❤️
Hi Loie, Ho, ho, ho, happy Thanksgiving. Thanks for adding to my holiday joy with this lovely comment!
I fell in love with your Bubbie as soon as I “heard” her speak. My own grandmother was given the moniker “Mrs. Malaprop” by my father for the way she unintentionally butchered every English idiom. (Surgery patients were “under the table” instead of “under the knife,” for example.) I will take your Bubbie’s advice to “take them by foot” with me from this day forward. How much I could have used that advice when I was younger and did care far more about what others thought than I do now.
Wonderful column, Lorie! Thanks so much.
Hi Rose, Glad my story evoked your grandmother, Mrs. Malaprop. I’m glad we both have great memories to cherish!
Love this. What a great Bubbie.
Agreed! A truly great Bubbie! What a lucky girl am I!!
Your bubbie sounds delightful and everybody’s idea of the perfect grandmother!
I’ll travel down memory lane with you anytime. If only we could remember what movie we saw last week!
Thanks for the chuckle, Vera! Looking forward to trips down memory lane with you – and trips to the movies. A.J. Fikry??? Did we see that???
I love these memories of Bubbie. I just recently told my kids about take it to foot. Such good advice!
It is said that the deceased live on in the memories of those who loved them, so I am thrilled to bring Bubbie to life!