A Rip-Roaring Good Time…and More

Gefilte Fish…and More

I have no idea what the seven grandkids were doing at the kids’ table at Rosh Hashana dinner, but they were having a loud, rip-roaring good time doing it. I had been worried that things wouldn’t be as much fun with the three big kids off to college. But nope. I was wrong. Last Friday night seems to have been a blast.

As I try to imagine what memories all of this will engender for them in the future, I look back on being at the kids’ table at my grandma’s house some sixty-five-ish years ago. I was the fourth of nine grandkids, so I was in the group of older cousins. We delighted in making the little ones scream as we explained to them that those squiggly things on the gilt mirror over the sofa were snakes. So I guess we, too, had a blast.

But to be honest, I don’t really remember much about our holiday celebrations except of course for the food.

My Bubbie was a tireless hostess and cook. Not just on holidays, but weekly on Shabbat, Bubbie’s three kids, their spouses, and all us cousins came to dinner. Extra relatives – a rotating cast of characters – were always at the table, as was a rotating array of foods.

I chuckle to think how different it was for her to put a meal on the table as compared to the way I do things now. For instance, a traditional appetizer is gefilte fish. I buy it in the freezer case at Kroger, then boil it in seasoned water for ninety minutes as per the package directions. Bubbie’s gefilte fish, on the other hand, started out as live fish in my Grandpa’s fishing bucket. I watched them go from bucket to kitchen sink but never wanted to see how the fish went from living to dead.

I know the edible part of the fish ultimately went through a food grinder that was clamped to the kitchen table. After grinding it with onions, eggs, matzo meal (like breadcrumbs) and seasoning, she formed her mixture into little loaves that were individual-serving-sized. This may be TMI, but research online tells me that she boiled the loaves in a broth made from the head, bones, skin, and tail of the fish.

A big part of me says YUCH to all this, but oddly, that is the Yiddish word for this broth. Pronounced YUCH (with a guttural CH) instead of YUCK (with a hard K), this broth becomes jelly-like when it cools. The collagen in the bones causes this to happen. Bubbie called this jellied stuff YUCH too. And I agree – YUCK!

I’m pretty sure I never ate her gefilte fish; thus I have more memories of fishing with Grandpa than eating the end result.

Which brings me back to the memories my grandkids will carry from the holiday meals they have eaten at my house. Realizing they might have to reach my current age to understand they received these things, here are the four components I am hoping for.

1. I hope they have some favorite food from the meal, and especially hope it is a traditional Jewish dish. At Rosh Hashana they had apples dipped in honey, a ROUND challah, matzoh ball soup, and gefilte fish as appetizers. They had brisket as a main dish. And they had kamish (Jewish biscotti) as one of their dessert options.
2. Beyond traditional foods, I hope they remember the traditions of the holiday itself. That we all pause our busy lives to come together is one. The various prayers we say are another. We bless the holiday candles, wine, and challah. At the Jewish new year, we also bless apples dipped in honey as we pray for a sweet year. And finally, we sing my favorite prayer, the Shehecheyanu, which thanks God for keeping us alive, for sustaining us, and for allowing us to reach this happy season.
3. It may take decades for them to appreciate the gifts emanating to them from the adult table. There was love, safety, and security that added an abundance of riches to their young lives and that should be the bedrock at the core of their adult lives.
4. And of course, the rip-roaring good time. At some event over the summer, the littlest guy in our group, Jude, asked me if his cousins were going to be at whatever event we were heading towards. I don’t remember the answer that day, but for Rosh Hashanah, except for the three big girls away at college, the answer would be yes, your cousins will be with you. His happiness over this is my happiness. Family is important.

After a holiday is over, my lady friends and I comment on how very daunting it is to make the requisite meal. And it is! Even though in my case, everyone brings a dish to share, and even though my gefilte fish comes from Kroger and not Grandpa’s fishing bucket. As hard as it may be, though, it is ten times more important to make it happen.

A holiday with family…more than a rip-roaring good time…sublime.

2 things to share in closing:

1. Here is an easy recipe for an apples and honey cocktail – mix two parts apple cider and two parts ginger ale with one part Jack Daniels Honey Bourbon. Serve over ice.
2. Look at this fun article about the 100 Most Jewish Foods. 100 different writers write about 100 different foods. Check out these two favorites of mine: gribenes (we called them grevies) and eyerlekh (we called them eggies).

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