The Great Un-Own

I Am Not a Hoarder But…

Part of my morning routine is to read the Cincinnati Enquirer and do the Jumble word puzzle appearing there. One day recently, I thought the answer to the Jumble was a life lesson meant for me.

The cartoon that went with the Jumble had two people talking. The first one said, “You sold your house, car and clothes? You don’t even have a suitcase!” The second person responded “Isn’t it exciting? Well, the world awaits. I’ll send a postcard.” When I took the designated letters from the unscrambled words, I was able to complete the statement at the bottom of the cartoon: “He sold all his possessions and planned to set out for the…GREAT UN-OWN.”

Part of the reason this impacted me was that I had just finished reading Richard Russo’s new book, Life and Art. In it he talks about his childhood where kids held the ladder as the dads/grandpas of the neighborhood scraped the clapboards of their houses in anticipation of painting them. He says, “Gradually, I came to suspect that the real reason for our presence was to help us understand how duty bound even a modest home made you, how it owned you, even as you owned it.”

This one-two punch from the universe got me thinking. No, I was not going to divest myself of my house and everything in it, but perhaps a little spring cleaning was in order. I could use a little less stuff to own me.

This generated another thought. I scribbled it down as a note to myself. It’s a quote from a long-ago friend: “The strength of the lion is that he carries nothing on his back.”

Stream-of-consciousness-style I wrote this down too: Remember the Woody Allen and Bette Midler movie, Scenes from a Mall, where they discuss their broken marriage as they walk around the mall – schlepping a surf board they had purchased earlier – as I shouted at them, put down that load?

It seemed my inner voice was likewise on board for getting rid of stuff.

With all of this fresh in mind, I went to hang up a darling new jacket my daughter gave me for my birthday. There’s no room in the coat closet, so I figured I needed to give something away. I picked out a Lands’ End Squall jacket. It moved in with me when I bought this house in 1994. I doubt I have worn it since. But it’s a perfectly fine jacket! How can I give it away?

So much for spring cleaning!

I mentioned all this to my friend, Sue, who is fabulous at throwing things away. She suggested I watch an episode of Hoarders! So I did. The stories of two families with hoarding problems were told. And trust me, even when the experts in clean-up tried to come to their rescue, these people could part with nothing. It had sentimental value or they could see a need for it down the road.

I am not implying I am a hoarder. I have a place for everything and everything is in its place. But do I need all those perfectly placed items? Why are they so hard to throw away?

In that coat closet I just mentioned, there is a compact carry-along high chair. It folds down into the size of a hat box. My youngest grandchild is 8 ½, so I no longer need it. BUT the oldest grandchild is 19 ½, would she be horrified to know I am thinking about her future children?

And beside possible future need, who is it bothering up there on the top shelf of the closet?

So this is where I stand. Whereas I may not be ready to throw things away. I may be ready to think about doing so.

Toward that end, I googled “the how-to’s of decluttering.” In this manner I came up with an article from Good Housekeeping, “7 Favorite Methods of Decluttering.” Whereas none of them “spoke to me,” I share them as a fabulous reference on the topic. Here they are now:

• The ski slope method
• Swedish Death Cleaning
• The four-box method
• KonMari
• Packing party
• The minimalism game
• One in, one out.

Nope. None of those are for me. Ever dancing to my own drummer, here is my plan: I am going to use an accountability log to get on track and stay on track (I hope) with decluttering.

Sue, the above-mentioned friend who is good-at -throwing-things-out recently gave me a new journal that she designed (!!) It is a “Daily Planner for Reflection and Intentional Living.”

I don’t know how often I will record in it, but so far it has its first entry. Last Wednesday night as I was taking the trash cans out to the curb, I noticed an oscillating lawn sprinkler on a shelf in my garage. I have had an inground irrigation system for decades and have no idea why I even own such a thing. It was easy to throw away.

I have written about this before but then I fell off the trash wagon even though I know this is an important topic for folks in my age group.

So I write about it again as I try, try again.

I know that I tend to teach best that which I most need to learn. So I hope I am listening as I coin the phrase GATA – Give Away Throw Away – and hope to be the Queen of the GATA Brigade soon.

And for now, I take the carry-along high chair and the Lands’ End jacket and put them in a box to donate to charity. And out in the garage, the broken Fubbles Bubble Machine that the grandkids used to play with is now in the trash.

Off I go to record this in my accountability log. It sits in its rightful place, on the kitchen counter. A conspicuous reminder to keep up this important work.

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If you like my writing, I hope you will check out my new book, Chai on Life. It contains 36 slice-of-life stories ranging in topics from belly fat to Billy Joel. It is available wherever books are sold and on Amazon. There is even a companion journal for you to write the stories of your life.

Chai on Life is available in 3 formats: Hard Back, Kindle, and AudioBook.

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