I Have Trouble Putting My Phone Down at Night

Sofa Scrolling Is the Enemy

Recently at temple, Rabbi Neil Hirsch advanced the concept of disengaging ourselves from our smart phones by deleting a social media app or two. So convinced was he in the wisdom of this move, he gave us all permission to pull out our phones right then and there to do the deed. He got a good laugh…and then went on with his comments.

At the time of that sermon, I had already deleted Instagram, X (formerly Twitter), and LinkedIn from my phone, but I was still holding onto Facebook. I should confess that I have all of those platforms on my laptop. But the laptop is not a problem. It lives on my desk and I rarely look at social media there. The situation is very different with my phone. I often find myself lying on the sofa at night, phone in hand, scrolling through Facebook, and of course wondering how it got to be so late!

Disturbed by all that lying-on-the-sofa-scrolling, I decided to listen to the rabbi. As I walked from the temple to my car after services, I deleted Facebook. That was several months ago.

Where I stand on the issue right now is that I am perfectly fine without looking at Facebook BUT I still have trouble putting my phone down at night. I am an avid reader, consuming books in digital format on my phone. This keeps the device in my hands until bedtime. But when I am tired of reading, I just can’t seem to put the phone down.

So, I look at my email on fuse.net, and my email on aol, and my email on gmail. And very aware that I am itching to look at some other website, I’ll even check the next day’s weather. And then I just stare at the phone in my hand. I want to do something else with it, but I don’t know what. Maybe I should check my email again?

And so, addicted media user that I am, I did a Google search: Why do I feel like I cannot put my phone down? These are the topics that popped up: brain rot, doom scrolling, zombie scrolling, and nomophobia. That last one is completely new to me, the others, I had heard of but couldn’t exactly define.

Before I define them though, just a reminder of “The Science Behind the Screen” as defined in Psychology Today: “Using our phones, particularly for social media, stimulates the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward. This feeling can be compelling, leading to a cycle where we constantly check our phones for that next ‘hit’ of dopamine.”

And now for the vocabulary of this addiction: Brain rot is the most important word to discuss. It was named Word of the Year by Oxford University Press in 2024. It refers to the cognitive decline and mental exhaustion brought on by excessive exposure to low-quality online material.

The symptoms of brain rot include spending hours on-screen, anxiety when away from mobile devices, and a weakened ability to pay appropriate attention to valuable activities. Experts at the Boston Children’s Digital Wellness Lab think it may be a coping mechanism for people who have other underlying disorders, people who try to numb themselves with the mindless scrolling. They call the disorder Problematic Interactive Media Use.

Extensive research was also done by the NIH. Among other things, they give this fascinating note about the word. It was first coined by Henry David Thoreau, in his book Walden, published in 1854. He defined brain rot as a gradual atrophy in the capacity to think critically, concentrate, and be in the world appropriately.

The NIH report also defines doom scrolling and zombie scrolling in this way:

Doom scrolling is a compulsive action where we focus on negative or distressing information such as politics. Zombie scrolling is when we passively scroll through social media unconsciously and without a clear purpose. A lack of intentionality or motive is the crucial component of zombie scrolling.

The final term to define is nomophobia which is easy to understand when I “spell” it this way: NO MObile PHone PhoBIA. I guess I suffer from this too. It’s not exactly that I feel naked when I leave home without my phone, but that my Car Play doesn’t work unless my phone is with me. Without Car Play, I have no Google maps. No podcasts. No books on tape. It’s just me. In the car. On my own. I used to be comfortable in such a manner, but no more.

I am thankful to my rabbi for suggesting the deletion of apps on my phone, but that didn’t fully solve my problem. Lucky for me, though, I see an answer. I need to stop reading books on my phone. This will allow me to put the phone down a couple of hours before bedtime.

My options are to read physical books or to buy some sort of non-phone device that will allow me to access all the digital books I want with no access to apps or email.

A new device sounds the most appealing. And here’s some good news! I am just one Google search away from knowing the best reader to purchase! So it’s time to pick up my phone and…

Oh, wait a minute. That’s the problem and not the solution. Instead, I promise to do this research on my laptop, at my desk, during working hours, and not while lying on the sofa at night.

For me, sofa scrolling is the enemy, and I hope this plan puts an end to it.

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