My Dad Married Well

When I say that my dad married well, I do not mean he married into money, but that he married into family. Except for his parents and siblings, Dad had no family. All were lost in the Holocaust. He often spoke of his childhood and how much he missed having grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Meanwhile, my mom had an embarrassment of riches in that regard. Her mother was one of six. Her father was one of nine. Mom had thirty-five first cousins!

Lucky for Dad, as the years passed, he did more than just share Mom’s family. He began to collect a group of relatives who carried his own DNA. He and Mom had two kids from which five grandkids ultimately arrived and then fourteen great grandkids, all of whom share his bloodline. Dad’s three siblings gave him seven nieces and nephews and then there were greats and great-greats as well.

Once on Dad’s special birthday – I can’t remember if it was 80^th or 85^th – we threw a big party for all the family and his friends. At it, we entertained the crowd – and honored him – by telling tales about him, “Morrie Stories.” He topped all those stories by sharing one of his own. In great detail he told about his forever yearning for family and then he stopped, scanned the room, and recognizing his own embarrassment of riches in that regard, put his head down on the podium and cried, as he choked out the words, “I know how lucky I am!”

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I am thinking about my folks right now for two reasons. Were they still alive, this week would have been their 80^th wedding anniversary. And beyond that, I got asked a question this week that made me realize how profound Dad’s yearning for family was.

I was a guest on a podcast called Epic Begins with One Step Forward, with host Zander Sprague. As his website says: “Whether you’re an entrepreneur scaling your business, a leader fostering a better workplace culture, an author penning your next bestseller, an athlete prepping for the big game, or simply someone striving to maximize their potential—this podcast is for you.”

Clearly, working to maximize our potential is what this podcast – and much of life – is all about. And I have spent a lot of years trying to do just that. My thought has always been that my talents are God’s gift to me. What I do with them is my gift to God. So maximizing potential has always been important. And I’m not saying it isn’t, but then Zander asked me a question which caused me to feel dis-ease.

Actually, it’s a question he asks all his guests. Acknowledging these folks have a lot of achievements under their belts, he asks if there is a NOT YET in their life – a goal that has not been given up on, but not yet achieved.

I knew immediately that racking up another professional achievement was NOT my NOT YET.

Instead, my mind flashed immediately to Dad and his feelings about family.

And to the fact that I am 74-years-old.

And to the fact that some of my peers have life threatening ailments.

And I realized that I have NOT YET figured out work/life balance.

OMG! No! That’s not it at all!

I have NOT YET figured out life and what I am supposed to be doing with my one precious go-round.

I have no idea what I said when I responded on the podcast – and it has not posted yet, so I cannot go back and listen. Beyond that, my thoughts on this topic are clearly a work in progress.

But here’s what I am thinking – perhaps the out-of-the-mouths-of-babes yearning of my dad when he was young was the end all and be all of life? Perhaps being rich in family – or other loved ones – is what it’s all about.

I don’t know.

They say that play is the work of childhood. Similarly, perhaps figuring this out is the work of older adulthood? Again, I don’t know. Should you have any clues, I hope you will share them.

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If you like my writing, I hope you will check out my new book, Chai on Life. It contains 36 slice-of-life stories ranging in topics from belly fat to Billy Joel. It is available wherever books are sold and on Amazon. There is even a companion journal for you to write the stories of your life.

Chai on Life is available in 3 formats: Hard Back, Kindle, and AudioBook.